just so you know,
your end of the relationship is easy. tomorrow morning, you might roll out of bed and run a comb through your hair. you may or may not decide to brush your teeth or put on deodorant. i will spend an hour plucking stray hairs.
i've spent the past four years in preparation for tomorrow. written papers, whispered prayers. said things like, "my kids." i thought about you every day this summer, and twice a day since august 29th, and once every four minutes starting yesterday. sorry if that's weird -- i can't help it.
regardless of your refusal to appreciate me, i believe in you. i believe that your potential exceeds my own. i believe that you bear the image of Jesus Christ, your Creator and Perfecter. i believe that you are an immensely valuable and beautiful person (and i'm sorry for the times i will treat you as less than that). i believe there are things you don't know, and that there will be grave consequences to pay if you don't learn them. but anyway, i believe you can learn them.
just so you know,
some days, i am going to be a bitch. some days, you are going to push me so hard that i'll have to excuse myself from lunchroom duty so i can go cry in a bathroom stall. some days, we're going to be in awe of the world and the incredible/crazy things in it. about five weeks in -- if i get enough sleep -- we're going to have a blast. some days, i'm going to challenge you (in a good way). some days, i'm going to challenge you (in a bad way). most days, you'll reciprocate.
i believe that you -- who fought your way out of the womb, (you) who learned to hold up your head and walk and jump and count, (you) who tells jokes and clenches your teeth and makes your bed and puts pen to paper, (you) who has dreams and hopes and ideas and insecurities -- (i believe that you) can make up your mind to be bigger than the intellectually-sterile, hyper-consumerized, insipid knownothing that this culture has tracked you to become. i believe in who you are. that's why i'm here.
i'm not your friend. i'm your teacher.
and by the way, i'm not afraid of you.